So finally, I (Bjørn) have arrived at the most interesting part: the stuff that will make a gullible Eurovision-loving, Euro-boy like myself feel the tight grip of culture shock. Here are some friendly outsider observations about the US of A and its locals, the Americans and how they differ from the rest of the world. 😉
- Men and women greet each other differently. While women are limited to a handshake (or possibly a little hug), men get to choose from an extensive menu including the high-five, the fist-bump, the chest-bump, the thumb wrap handshake, the fist pound and the man-hug.
- The most important flavours/spices in the US are peanut butter, ketchup, yellow cheese substitute/cheddar and butter. Any hot dish can have some sort of cheddar flavour. Most of the times this does not actually originate from any kind of cheese, but rather some soft creamy substance with an artificial cheese-like flavour. Any cold or hot dish can have peanut butter flavour. Amazingly, any combinations of the above flavours (and add chocolate) are perfectly fine.
- Anything can be considered a flavour in the US, such as Snickers, certain kinds of biscuits/cookies, whopper, cheese cake, pizza, cookie dough, Chunky Monkey (frozen banana pieces mixed in with chocolate flakes and walnuts) and thousands of others.
- Americans have by far the biggest intimate space of any country I have lived in or visited. In most European countries you would say sorry if you happened to bump into somebody. In the US you are expected to say “I’m sorry” if you move within three meter radius of their body. If you’re at all planning to walk in somebody’s direction, you’d better say “Excuse me!” in advance. What if you accidentally happened to brush against somebody? … Perish the thought…
- The most popular sport in the US is (American) Football. This game is dominated by big men shoving each other, incomplete passes, commercials (I once timed it – for every quarter of football – 15 minutes – you get approximately 12 minutes of commercials) and time-outs. The most dramatic incident of almost every game is a pass that was almost completed. If it is a really good game, the most spectacular thing you’ll see is a grown-up man catching a ball (wow!) or a man running really fast while holding a ball in his hands!
- Two Americans can start any conversation with two to six “What’s up”s without: (a) at all expecting to find out what’s up (or how the other person is doing), (b) even really listening in the odd case the other person happened to convey some information.
Disclaimers:No text written in America would be complete without a set of disclaimers. Here goes:
- Any of the cultural characteristics outlined above may be typical of the Midwest rather than the US as a whole.
- No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means without written permission from the author.
- Wanna sue me for any politically incorrect statements made above? I plead freedom of speech! I’ll sue you back!